I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
