Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Did I show you my penis last night?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
