but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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