its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
