I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
how drunk are you?
Several
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
