We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
