we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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