did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
