break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
