Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
