I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
