i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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