I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize