Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
