This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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