We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize