I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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