I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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