I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
