thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
