And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
