Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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