Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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