I need help removing her.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
