I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
