like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
