the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
