If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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