i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
