My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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