I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
