I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
