did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
