I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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