About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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