I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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