Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
