maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He better not be in your backpack
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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