Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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