also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
