In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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