i permit you to call me
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
