So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
