I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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