I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
