i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
