We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
