Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
