Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm just crazy horny about you
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
