The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
