I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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