when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize