3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
