I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You ate ashes out of my bong
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
