I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
