I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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